I have been working on my resurrection story for quite a long time (I have written and considered parts of it over the last five years). I now seem to have turned a corner on it and feel like I may be able to complete a first draft in the not too distant future…although there is a lot of research and “pre-writing” work I will need to do before I get there.
Difficulties
Some of the things I found difficult was trying to get sufficient information on the possible backstories of the women who were present at the death of Jesus and then his resurrection. Also, the gospels themselves give differing accounts about who was present and what actually occurred so it took a while for my analytical mind to reconcile these accounts and let go so my imagination could experience it rather than being caught up in minutia. I was fortunate enough to come across some of the work of the historians Joan Taylor and Helen Bond about the women who were close to Jesus and have decided since reviewing some of this that my resurrection piece will focus on the point of view of Joanna, the wife of the steward of Herod Antipas. A two part series featuring Taylor and Bond’s research into Jesus’ female disciples can be found here.
Things I found interesting
It has been interesting for me to consider many intricacies of the resurrection story in the gospels that I had not noticed before I sought about writing. For example, considering what actually happened after Jesus was taken down from the cross and who was present at his burial, the walk home from the tomb and the mood of the apostles and disciples after his execution. The man they had come to rely upon, who had given them hope that something bigger than any of them was happening and great change was imminent, was dead. Many of these people had given up many things to follow him. By entering into the story I felt their anger, disbelief, denial and shock.
One thing I had not considered before was how practical the women were. Despite what had happened they got themselves organised enough to make sure Jesus’ body was treated properly with spices on the third day after his death.
Places where I got stuck
In my imagination I was stuck for a long time on the way to the tomb, knocked down by the earthquake but unable to see further. Then, I did get past this place a little. I remained on the ground but found my hands were holding onto Jesus’ feet. Still for a long time I could not or I was not ready to look up. There are many times when I have felt I have been in this place with my prayer – at Jesus’ feet – times when I was struggling in my life and felt there was no way forward and also at times when my faith was weak and I chose to keep my hands on Jesus’s feet, asking him to strengthen my faith.
Resolution
I thought about why I could not or was not ready to look up. I think sometimes seeing the resurrected Jesus seems too much for me. I feel it could overwhelm me. But then I began to think…Jesus is gentle and he does not wish to overwhelm me.
Also, I think I was putting too much pressure on myself to be able to capture the enormity of the resurrection in one glance both in my imagination but also in my written piece. But, the looking up at Jesus is just one glance. The story doesn’t end there. There is a whole season of Easter. After all, the resurrection is probably something we can never fully understand in this life. It is something we continually are finding more out about in our journeys of faith each day.
Hopeful for completion
I am hoping to be able to share my piece with you in the next few weeks (praying for the time and the inspiration to complete it).